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Sunday 10/12/2006 - December Already? How did that happen? Jaysus I've been busy lately. Not doing anything in particular like finishing off those tracks that I made a half-hearted start on, or any of the other make-money-on-the-side options available to me. Nope, just dicking around. One or two worthwhile things to talk about since I last blogged. First, my tree is up. Again, it looks great. So much better than yours. Second, I've not yet bought any presents yet, except one that someone else is going to give me money for and then wrap and give back to me. It's a book. And, being the impatient bastard that I am, I've already read half of it. Does that spoil the experience for me? No, not in the slightest. The Thursday just gone I was round at Bradford University and sat down for a little private lunch with the Dean of Engineering, Design and Technology, and tried my best to sound intelligent and informed. I did a good job as it turned out. That's another little step towards promotion I hope. Lastly, I've been off my diet for a while and put a bit of the weight back on. That's only, I hasten to add, because I've been eating like a slob since then. When people always say "Yeah, but when you come off Atkins you'll put all the weight back on" it does annoy me because a) the same is true for any diet unless it's a diet that caused you to get fatter - duh! Go back to eating too much and you'll put on weight again. No shit. b) have they ever actually tried this for themselves or is it just unsubstantiated anecdotal evidence they heard down the pub from some fatty who wouldn't know a diet if it stapled his stomach? c) so, what, you're saying that I should just give up on the whole losing weight thing and resign myself to a life of getting progressively heavier and heavier until I need a crane to get out of bed? All because, ultimately, if I eat every damn thing I want to eat all the time I'm never going to reach Nicole Ritchie's weight? And therefore you've concluded, what, all diets are a waste of time (and possibly blasphemous if you can just figure out yet another way to twist what The Bible says to suit your ill-considered agenda of fearing anything that's even slightly different to what you already know)? Clearly a well thought-through point there, dicks. It was getting colder, I'd been feeling a bit under the weather, so it's been an awful lot of chocolate, pizza, crisps and beer. Oh well, I guess I've still got time to ditch it again before Xmas. Speaking of which, I'm on holiday from next Friday. The past three months in this job have just flown by, which is a good thing I guess, though I really need to put some work into the escape-plan like yesterday if I want to achieve my ultimate aim of sleeping until noon more often and being able to bugger off to Monte Carlo or Miami or some other glamourous, sunny place whenever winter's getting me down. And pulling Sarah off of Girls Aloud. Focus, Seej, FOCUS! And remember, the more presents you ask Santa for, the longer me and Mrs Claus have to, uh, get to know each other a little better. See? There's an upside to the population explosion.
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